Grateful in Autumn

Some days just feel so right

with the gentle breeze

lacing through your hair

gentle winds tinting your cheeks

big warm sweaters keeping you warm

you catch yourself closing your eyes

head tilting upwards toward the sky

breathing in that crisp autumn air

the feeling can’t escape you

it creeps in and consumes you

you find yourself telling your mind

to hush for just a second

because gratitude is talking

and you just want to listen

Exploration – Aura Readings

Hippie-dippy tree hugger. One of my many nicknames. Actually this one came about during busy season, when I would stare at the trees in the city just to get my thought process going. Anyways,  I noticed about 5 years ago, that I was pretty intuitive. It always made me feel pretty hippie-dippy. It was amazing how I would just understand everyone’s perspective and what they were thinking and feeling despite what they were saying. It was so strange to me and to my encounters as well. I also noticed a few years ago that I was hyper sensitive to energies, and would actually have a reaction to them. I would feel positive energies in certain people and negative energies in others. I would also really feel like running away from these negative energies, because I knew it would get me down somehow. Never knew what all of this meant, and frankly sometimes I felt as if I was full of BS thinking all this was actually something real.

Which brings me to the other day when I gave Aura readings a shot. I actually heard about this through Snapchat’s newsfeed, and thought it was totally cool and had to try it out! The spot I went to was called Magic Jewelry and was located in Chinatown (238 Canal St # 108, New York, NY 10013). You place your hands on some metal plates and they take a picture of you and it prints out a nice Polaroid. When the picture develops, it will show you your aura in colors! You’ll then get a reading from them telling you about your thoughts and feelings as it relates to a 3 week period (the week prior, the present week, and the upcoming week) based on these colors. I thought it was incredible how spot on she was about exactly where my head was at and how I was feeling. What’s even crazier is that she confirmed that I am hypersensitive to energies and that I am highly intuitive and spiritually involved. This was relieving to know – I really wasn’t just making this up in my head! Overall the reading was fun and insightful and I loved that she laughed at me in all my amazement (short of having my eyes fall out of my head really).

If you’re adventurous and curious – give this a go! Why not? What have you to lose? You’ll have your mind blown I swear lol Here is my picture and a cool link that explains all these colors and what they mean – you can go ahead and try to read where my head is at! Haha would love to hear what you think!  aura

As always, hope you’re having an incredible day!

xoxo

NYC Dreaming – Street Musicians

So I have this idea – and usually I am too scared of my ideas because they feel too big and way out of my potential. However, I find myself dreaming about this idea a lot, and I am putting it out to the world in hopes that somehow it will manifest, either through me or through someone else or together as a team.

New York City is flooded with incredibly talented Street Musicians. Many of whom absolutely take my breath away with their performances. I am always in awe and always leave feeling so grateful that I have had the privilege on any given day to experience their divine gifts. How selfless of them – even if they are sharing their art for a few dollar bills, how selfless it is that they decided not to reserve it for the big leagues. I feel so lucky to get the chance to listen and watch performances, which I feel in my heart of hearts, belong in grand theaters at prices that we cannot even afford. However, here they are in the mornings and evenings, spending their time to share their talents with us. I would love to give back to them and to the city. I would love for the street musicians of NYC to be cordially invited to perform on a big stage. That once a year, people can see these musicians gather together on one stage. For them to have their moment. These musicians are over looked by thousands each day, how wonderful would it be for all eyes to be on them, attentive and present in the moment with them. They make me happy all the time, and I feel like this would be a great opportunity to say thanks while also giving back.

Dear fellow bloggers, especially if you’re in NYC, what do you think? Is it doable? Would you attend? How would one go about making this idea come alive? What ideas do you have regarding this really general idea? What would you like to get out of something like this? Who are some of your favorite street musicians? Where do they perform? Do you have a picture or video you’d like to share? I’d LOVE to see!

If you’ve gotten this far, I’m so grateful to you. You never know, you might be someone to set this dream in motion for me simply by reading it. So thank you.

Hope you have a beautiful day/night!

xoxo

 

Emotions

Hello to my emotions

I struggle with the motions

That beckons my attention

To deal with the tension

That requires me to feel what needs to be felt

The pains of dealing with what needs to be dealt

It seems easier to dance around

Than keep my two feet on the ground

I’d rather smile when I’m sad

Or laugh when I’m mad

Worry when I’m happy

Sleep when things are scary

I wish it weren’t so daunting

To sit and feel when things are haunting

To be true to my own emotions

So I can transcend my oceans

Update (Warning: Slightly Emotional)

Hi Interpeeps,

It’s been a while. I’ve had to travel Orlando for work and the 2 weeks following have been a whirl wind for me. So many changes have taken place, so many goals aligning, and so many aspects of my life that require my attention, but I’m so afraid…

I guess that’s the biggest realization I’ve had in the past few weeks – I am so afraid of everything, so much so that my heart pounds out of my chest before I give myself the chance to feel okay and grounded about the things that scare me. Just to catch you up to speed, recently I’ve been promoted at work, got a dog, and a boy that I’ve had a crush on for the past 3 years has admitted that he also likes me back. On top of all of these changes, I also have to make time for studying for the CPA and I want to make time for this blog. I also have to push aside other things that I love to do like explore new places, dance, and learning piano so that I can take care of the things that need my immediate attention. I am lucky to have all these wonderful things to worry about, but I am truly falling apart because of all the fear that accompanies all of it – how can I do it all without failing at it all. I am already tumbling and tired from simply trying to prioritize all of this in my head. I am also not able to enjoy how good all of this really is, because I’m so caught up in the worry of messing it all up. Do any of you ever feel this way? How do you conquer this fear? How do I give all of these things the necessary amount of attention – the hours seem so short and my energy so thin.

I am always afraid that I’m gonna lose things, that sometimes I do the exact things that lead me to losing those very things. As I discussed with a friend, I am free and have everything going for me but I put myself in a cage because it’s familiar and comfortable, even though it feels terrible. I tend to be very positive, hopeful and optimistic about most things but when it comes to me – I couldn’t be more negative and pessimistic. It’s the longest battle I have ever fought, that often times I wonder how I ever got where I am…how I even made it this far. It truly astonishes me – I can’t help but feel like God sent me angels through friends and families to keep me moving along. I always seem to greet good times with the scrutiny of “what bad thing do you have aligned to mess this up?” and the bad times feel impossible, so suffocating, difficult and endless. I try to be brave and find ways to feel good about myself, but there are too many days where I feel unfit to live the life I wish I could be living. Too many days where I feel unworthy of being loved, as if the grass will always be greener somewhere for those who love me. I always wish I could tell people to save themselves from me – I’m too sad to ever make you feel happy to have me be a part of your life. The sad part is that I am too frozen in fear to be the person I envision myself to be, and she is awesome, but I am afraid to be her. I don’t know how to be her. I want so badly to free myself from my own shackles. This is why I needed to take some time off from everything in life, just to be in my head and fight my demons.

That was a little heavy, but for once I want to just sit with this truth, and not act like this is funny. This is my silent prayer that I can do all of this, that I can make it work. That I can excel at work, pass my exams, be responsible with my pup, figure out how to love and be loved, write poems and spread joy, while keeping my head intact.

If you made it this far, thank you so much. If you were with me in person, I would’ve made you some tea, because tea makes everything bearable.

Peace and love my friends.

xoxo

Not a Porcelain Doll

Good Morning Lovelies! ❤

I recently came across a blog called “Not a Porcelain Doll” (NAPD), and I was so moved and empowered by simply the thoughtfulness behind the initiative. It’s a website dedicated to empowering those who have been made to feel less than perfect. You are not meant to be “perfect,” you are not a porcelain doll – you are human and you are beautifully imperfect.

For many of my childhood years, I was heavily bullied. Certain words and experiences can be extremely hard to overcome. I am lucky to have survived, but there have been many who have been bullied into believing they shouldn’t exist and aren’t worth this life – so they either lose their life or they lose their life. That is why websites like NAPD are hugely important. People who are bullied need empowerment and need to know they are not alone. I was lucky enough to be able to contribute to this website, and you can read my empowering post here. I shared one example of an instance when I was bullied, and how I overcame that situation, and I intend to share more of my stories in the days to come. Please check out NAPD and follow their blog, share their message, and even contribute. The more we support the cause, the more of a reach it will have – and it holds the power to help, support, empower, and love those who are hurting.

“To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived – that is to have succeeded.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Let’s all spread the message and take part in a movement that may help many stand a little taller, smile a little bigger, and breathe a whole lot easier.

xoxo