Reflections

I started this year with the intention of proving to myself that I am strong, I am resilient, and that I can do anything I set my mind to…but with this intention at heart, I fell apart many many times this year. Sometimes you get lost in the struggle, wondering how you’re going to overcome this one, if you’ll have strength or the will to over overcome the next one. Sometimes I don’t know how to be strong enough for myself. I started this blog to share honest thoughts, feelings, and emotions but fear of appearing weak has really made me resist sharing my raw truths – but I really want to…maybe to see if someone can relate, maybe to show others who are going through this – that they are not alone, and maybe just to share myself in a place where I feel safe with my brokeness.

Recently, I was told by someone close to me that my positivity was not authentic. I am not sure why, but eventhough I felt so strongly that I was getting better and becoming more positive and at peace with myself – hearing this really really hurt me. I started struggling once again with who I am and what my true self is really like. People can be both positive and negative right? How can I overcome my negativity without being positive. I suddenly felt judged for being happy. I felt like my joy, though truly felt within me, was seen as fake by others and for some reason – that made me feel so unsettled. Like I was not acting the part. I’ve been sinking into a little hole with the burden of these words. So I’ve been calling on myself to write a post about everything I have done and accomplished this year, and what I hope to achieve for myself next year. All of this, with the hope of a renewed perspective and an escape from the fog.

This year I did the following:

  1. I quit my job which made me so unhappy for so long.
  2. I traveled on my own to Thailand and Cambodia.
  3. I played with elephants.
  4. I helped build a house in 4 days.
  5. I fell in love with taking pictures and enhancing them and posting them, all of which were so beautiful and fulfilling to my heart.
  6. I painted my room, by myself, in a color that is so far from what I am used to
  7. I ran myself into some debt
  8. I raised nearly $2,700 for Team for Kids
  9. I ran the NYC Marathon
  10. I worked at the BMW Service Department – and actually had fun
  11. Found a new job as planned for the new year with hopes that I will learn a lot, meet wonderful people who will become like family, and grow in character and career.

What I am realizing as the year closes:

  1. I really miss my relationship with God.
  2. I need help learning how to control the emotions that I go through, I need to accept that they are okay, and credit myself more and more for every single moment that I find myself in control.
  3. I mostly prefer to cope with my pains on my own. I need to find a way to cope a little faster so that I don’t miss out on being present for important events and important people in my life.
  4. Movement, nature, colors, tea, naps and hugs cure me and heal me on difficult days.
  5. The more I love myself, the more it reflects in my interactions.
  6. I need to accept myself more and fall in love with the process of growth.
  7. I don’t want to live my life steeping in the fear that tomorrow will not go as planned, that I won’t be accomplished, that I won’t be loved, that I won’t live up to people’s expectations, that I won’t make my family proud, that I won’t make my future family proud, I need to find a way to shut it up and let it go.
  8. I need to take care of myself more in every way possible, because I am important and this life is so short and I have to make it as beautiful as I possibly can.
  9. I am so so so so so grateful for the people in my life who carried me this year while I was lost. They supported me in ways that I did not expect and probably did not deserve.
  10. I am grateful for a renewed friendship that came in such a perfect time to help me such a perfect way. She made me realize how fleeting yet beautiful life is. She also keeps telling me my smile is beautiful, which is one my most favorite compliments to receive.
  11. I am grateful for God because I know he was watching over me this year. He answered so many prayers. I honestly don’t think I would have survived this year without his intervention in just the most perfect way at the perfect time. I love you God, and I pray to get closer to you because my days are more beautiful when you are part of it.

My intentions for 2018:

  1. Connect with God more, through prayer and meditation. Trust in him and have faith and patience.
  2. Find inner peace, research and actively practice calming my heart and soul
  3. Open my heart up more, be more loving and warm
  4. Respect my body and take care of it, by eating better and moving more
  5. Not to feel so much pressure about everything
  6. Enjoy the things I pursue and not feel overly obliged to a specific outcome
  7. Accept that my journey will be different from others, and the things I seek will come when the time is right
  8. Practice active warming gratitude every day, maybe even write it down
  9. Smile more and more
  10. Dance more
  11. Kind of out there, but I would love to find myself sexy again haha

 

So 2018, I come to you high and dry, yet grateful after a crazy year, and I ask you kindly to bless me with a beautiful year ahead. One that is unforgettable, nurturing, sweet, magical, warm, loving, and magnificent. Dear God, bring me closer to you, teach me wonderful things, and guide me down a forgiving and loving path.

So ready for this new year!! ❤ Wishing all of you the most beautiful end of year and the sweetest new year!! Sending you all warm wishes!!

xoxo

Liz

 

 

 

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Can I Dream

Can a mind that feared the future

Now begin to crave it

Can my thoughts released from fixture

Now brave away the doubts

 

Can the music play long after dark

So my dreams can dance along

Can my wishes dine with promises

So my heart can sing its song

 

Better Days

There will be days when your voices are negative and they win over the day. Capturing you in a dark spiral, your thoughts and body giving into all that it has to say. Then there are days where your positive voices win out and you wonder how you could have ever thought so negatively.

You have the power to chose the voice, but having that kind of power is not always easy. I understand that. But please recognize that you have that power.

Thinking negatively is so easy, it is so easy to think that you are not attractive, it is so easy to think that you aren’t smart enough, it is so easy to think you aren’t good enough – you know why? Because to think otherwise means assuming responsibility. It means actively thinking and doing what needs to be done so that you can think otherwise. It is a lot of work, especially if you are so used to thinking negatively.

I know how hard it is to get out of bed when the thoughts in your head are so heavy and burdensome. But here is what I can ask of you, take advantage of the days that are somewhat good. Make the most of that beautiful day – grab your journal and your camera and document you beautiful happy thoughts and visions.

What is bringing you joy in that moment?

What thoughts are bringing you peace?

What is making you breathe easier in this moment?

What are the things that are making you smile and laugh?

What are the things you wish would be part of your life everyday?

Maybe you can even jot down, which things are bringing you down on your off days and what you think you can do to resolve them.

Then on days that don’t go so well, just re-read those pages. Try your best remember the feelings you had as you wrote down your thoughts, and try to roll out of bed and recreate at least one of those things that brought you joy.

For me, when I was going through a lot that was bringing me down I did three things that almost always uplifted me even if just for a moment. (1) I went on a walks to places that were surrounded by nature. I found peace in flowers, trees, water, sun, moon and the like. I would be in such awe and amazement by the beauty of the world that it would distract me from my own negative thoughts. (2) I would go to cafes, restaurants, bakeries and new places that offer me new experiences and fully submerge myself in finding the joy in delicious and beautiful delights. (3) I would write and draw and DIY – it helped me find joy from the art within me. It would help me delight in myself.

You might be someone who can be healed by music, or by friends who cuddle, or by cooking or baking, or by going on crazy cool adventures – find three things that delight you, soothe you, and energize you. They will be your go to when negativity tries to consume you.

Like with anything, the more you practice the better you get. You can’t escape your negative thoughts while sitting in them, you have to find a way to move away from it. Practice it again and again and again – until being positive becomes more natural because it is more practiced.

Then on days when you are negative, please don’t beat yourself up. Instead, close your eyes, breathe and say “It’s okay, you are sad/angry/upset, but this will pass, and it will get better. I forgive you.” And then just allow the emotions to be, until you are strong enough to chose otherwise.

I strongly believe in you and I know you can come out of your darkness. This life was meant for you and you will do wonderful things in your time. I know it.

Praying for everyone going through a hard time right now, and hoping with all my heart that you see the light. The light that will show you that there are better days coming for you. Sending you warm hugs and lots of love.

xoxo

Liz

Adventure/Activities/Experience

  1. Paragliding
  2. Skydiving
  3. Canoeing 
  4. Jet Skiing
  5. Fly Boarding
  6. Surfing
  7. Skiing
  8. Snowboarding
  9. Snorkeling
  10. Scuba Diving
  11. Fly a plane
  12. Go on a helicopter
  13. Start a fire caveman style
  14. Camping (in the woods for real)
  15. Jump off a cliff in Hawaii
  16. Explore a cave with friends
  17. Swimming in a natural pool of water
  18. Swim near a waterfall
  19. Stand under a waterfall if possible
  20. Travel to another country by myself 

How to Have a Really Good Day (even on a bad day)

Sometimes you find yourself having a really good day, but then all of a sudden something small triggers you and throws off your whole vibe.

It happens to the best of us.

I’ve been having a lot of good days lately, but if you took a closer look, you’d find loads of things that could have easily ruined my day – but it didn’t. I wanted to share with you how I’ve been managing this, so you can have consecutive days of goodness as well 🙂

  1. Observe your mind voice. If it’s being a Debbie downer, ignore it. Just be like, “please shut up” and then carry on! This is so important, because negative thoughts have a way of pulling you down as far as you’ll let it go, so don’t even let it. I can understand how hard it may seem, but just keep practicing, and it will become so natural for you to block off unwanted thoughts. Your thoughts can only be negative if you allow it to be that way. You have the choice to chose not to give in. Own that!
  2. Breathe. You’re getting anxiety, just breathe. You’re feeling the world crumbling around you, just breathe. You feel alone, just breathe. Everything has a solution. It might not always be clear or simple, but there is always a way to get through it or turn things around. Breathe and give yourself the chance to figure it out. Breathing creates a peaceful center within you, so you can keep going back to it when something doesn’t feel right, or even when something feels great!
  3. Practice gratitude. I cannot even stress how wonderful and nourishing this practice is and how much it will change your life. Things like the ability to move, the food you eat, the air you breathe, the beautiful sky, or even the crunch of leaves beneath your feet! SO THANKFUL! Say thanks to anything and everything that makes you happy, provides for you, inspires you, or speaks to you – just thank it. Even thank God or the Universe for all the wonderful things that are coming your way. Sometimes, uncertainty kills us, but by being thankful for the unknown you’ll be more receptive, open and gracious towards whatever comes your way. Thank the good things for its presence in your life, and thank the bad things for the lessons it will teach and the strength it will provide.
  4. Give yourself credit. Did you finally wake up early today? Good for you! Did you dress up real nice after months of not giving a crap? Damnn, look at you! Did you make it to the gym today? Look at you go! Did you get up out of bed after months of not being able to? YAY YOU! Give yourself credit for everything awesome that you do EACH DAY. Compliment yourself like this damn I peeled this orange like a QUEEN today, I’m incredible. Seriously, I KNOW how silly this sounds, but it will make you happy! Trust me!
  5. Forgive yourself immediately. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has those days, where things just don’t go as planned. You messed up, so what? Try again, just try again. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and go back in that ring. Don’t dwell on it. You know that relief you get when someone else forgives you for wronging them? Give yourself that relief too. Be kind and forgive yourself – it will help you and heal you so much.

You’re doing great. Don’t sweat it, okay?

And do me a favor? Have yourself a really good day 😉

xoxo

Liz ❤

Where to Go

Show me where the dreamers go
To awaken from their slumber
Where energy is put back in their bones
And their souls are storming thunders

Show me where the creatives go
To dance away their fears
Where courage is fed straight to their veins
And their spirits rage like ocean waves

Show me where the happy go
To stash away their pains
For if I knew just where to go
Maybe I’d feel the same